I find that there are a lot of misconceptions and assumptions about horse owners in this day and age and culture, and, as someone who is pretty hardcore, I feel like setting the record straight.

Having a horse means you probably drive a really old, beat up car with more than a few hundred dollars worth of repairs that are long overdue. It means you don’t have a social life with anything with less than four legs, probably don’t go out partying with friends, have clothes old enough to vote, and your savings account is named after your horse, if you’re lucky enough to have a positive number in the bank. It means your joints ache to move, you’re stiff if you sit too long, but you’re 30 lbs heavier than you look because of how jacked you are underneath your old, worn-out clothes. It means having disappointed significant others when you’re late for family dinners, or can’t make social outings because you have crap to do at the barn, or you show up smelling like a horse and sweat and sometimes even tractor grease. Hell, it’s a relationship ender if an SO ever has enough hubris to say “it’s me or the horse.” The horse will always come first. Always.

It’s crazy how often when people find out you have horses that they assume you’re rich. When people see a parent with three kids, they assume it’s a haggard, probably broke, very tired individual, and being a horse owner is more like that than what pop culture and movies would have you believe.

While it’s relatively common to see famous riders come from rich families – like real estate moguls or chain restaurant founders – the average horse person is just a regular bloke with a really expensive hobby that has come at the price of other luxuries that the average non-horse person probably takes for granted.

For the horser that takes it seriously, they’re at the barn at least five times a week for 2 to 4 hours a pop. The cost of keeping a horse is almost as much as rent depending how many roommates you have, so it often means needing a second job (at least) to pay for it. You see where I’m going with this? It looks like a luxury life on the outside, but it’s a lot of frigging work.

I’ve had vet bills that cost more than the worth of my car, and those quiet nights to Netflix and chill are replaced with late nights at the barn hand-walking a horse with a colic scare, or maybe just ensuring that your horse gets regular exercise to maintain their condition.

Having a horse is part looking after a pet, but also part looking after an athlete. There is a lot of consideration required for their training and conditioning to do it safely and smart. Not only does it require an education that occupies more space in a horser’s brain than pop culture or history trivia, but it requires a lot of time and effort to ensure it’s done right, and that the horse is cooled out properly, has its nutritional needs met, has its feet regularly trimmed, dewormers and shots and teeth up-to-date, good fitting tack which needs to be cleaned and checked regularly, especially with the growing horse….. The list goes on and on and on.

Most horse people will be the first to tell you that they are completely nuts to do it, but there is a wild passion that burns inside of us, the spirit that aches for the freedom and union that comes with that kind of a partnership, a heart that yearns for time spent in a saddle or in the companionship of a horse that can’t give it up. Nothing can replace that. Nothing else comes close. Believe me, I’ve tried. It hinges on a mental illness – ha! – but keeps us young into our 80s when we stick to it. (And this is what I’m telling myself!)

Apparently there have been studies that have proven that horse people tend to live longer, healthier, more active lifestyles. It’s this wild addiction to be with horses that keeps us active. Hell, I’ve been through multiple stages in my own life already where I have worked harder on my own fitness so that I would be a better rider. Because it’s not just about what our horses can do, it’s about who we are for our horses.

A good horseperson will bring as much to the partnership as they ask from the horse, and a great horseperson, will give every bit of themselves without any expectations at all. We do this because we love it, and we want our horses to love it too. That means we have to be something worth loving and respecting, and ain’t that a kick in the pants for personal growth.

We learn more about ourselves from our horses than we ever could from people. I am who I am today because of the horses in my life, and I wouldn’t be who I am without them. It’s an almost indescribable relationship. As much as I love every other animal and every other pet, nothing comes close to the relationships I have had with the horses I have loved, and if it means I have to work three jobs to do it? Been there, done that.

I’ve had people ask me how much it costs, and tell me to think about all the other things I could have if I didn’t have horses and my first response is if I had all of that money, the first thing I’d do is buy a horse with it and be right back where I am. Wouldn’t trade it for a thing.